dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
