I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
