I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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