We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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