i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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