sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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