I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
