Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
