my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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