At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
