Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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