Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
