You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So much rum. So many feels.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
