Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
