I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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