Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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