Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
