wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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