honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
