Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
