So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
