I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
