I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
