if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
