Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
