I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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