do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
