I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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