R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
