Swine flu. Run for my life!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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