areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
