u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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