I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
