Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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