dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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