woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
