4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
