As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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