There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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