i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
