BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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