so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
