can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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