I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
