THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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