one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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