My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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