i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
