return my video game
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
