i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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