just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
