best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
